It’s time. There’s no getting around it. It’s time to set boundaries for yourself. I know, I know, easier said than done. You’ve gone your whole life pleasing people, making others happy, bringing others together, building friendships and relationships all for it to crumble right in front of you.
You’ve been there for people countless times but when it comes time for you to need others, you hear crickets and silence. No matter what you do for others, it’s never good enough or will never be good enough whether that be with parents, family members, friends or even in your dating life.
It might be time to look in the mirror at yourself and ask yourself the important questions. What is the root cause of you not setting boundaries for yourself and how can you go about making the necessary changes? When you’ve been someone who has constantly disregarded things people say and do, there’s no one to blame but yourself.
Have I been someone who always feels the need to make others happy over myself? Definitely, guilty as charged. Have I changed my ways over the years? Yes I have, I’ve made an effort to stand up for myself as a human being and let others know that I have limits to what I will allow and what I won’t.
It’s like having someone who asks to borrow money from you and it becomes a habit. That person knows they can go to you whenever they need to borrow money from you. Even though they might pay you back, they know leaning on you is the easy way to go instead of managing their money correctly. People will guilt trip you or tell you the things they’ve done for you when you decide to set boundaries and tell them no.
You ever watch interviews or podcasts and here athletes or famous people talk about having money and people thinking they’re ATMs for their gain. They say that the minute you say no, you’re the bad person who won’t help them out. That’s where boundaries come in and you have to make them or else people will walk all over you.
It’s always better to be respected than to be liked. The reason why we don’t set boundaries for ourselves is due to the fact that we care more about being liked by everyone. The reality is, you can’t make the whole world happy, it’s literally impossible. Experiences teach you what to deal with and allow as your life progresses.
As my mother always told me, “What you allow will continue,” and it holds true in all aspects of life. At some point, we all have to take responsibility for our choices and decisions. Yes, our childhood experiences shape who we are in a lot of ways but if there are negative things we’ve been through, its up to us to heal, go to therapy, and dig deeper into who we are, what makes us who we are and what we want to be.
This blog is just scratching the surface of setting boundaries for yourself. Learning to stand up for yourself will go a long way in life. That’s my blog for today, thank you for reading, be good and go accomplish your goals!
Jamell Crouthers
Aquarianmind
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