Sometimes, I lose mental focus. It’s not necessarily laziness or being unmotivated. It’s more about my mind wandering a lot. I think about so much at once and it’s hard to formulate the right thoughts. It’s why I like being alone so much. It’s why I always look forward to decompressing from people.
My mind can drift into anything that comes up. Whether it’s goals, life, people, situations, things I’ve been through, things I’m looking forward to. There’s also the aspect of being an empath and feeling so much. Emotions catch up with me when it comes to life situations.
I’m a thinker and an observer, those are things I can surely admit to. I can be zoned out and forget where I am with headphones in my ear and music playing. It’s something I can say I’ve done most of my life, even when I was a little kid.
There are times I can zone out and write chapters of a book I’m working on in my head. How do I remember everything? I have no idea, I couldn’t tell you. I can write notes in my mind, then put them in my phone, come back to it later and it all will make sense.
It’s also knowing that it’s hard to calm my mind down and get it to relax. I overthink and overanalyze things and thankfully when I write, that’s just not something I do much of. It’s the same thing when I’m writing these blogs or recording podcasts, it’s me being free and who I really am.
When people ask me questions in interviews, I tend to admit to my mind being in constant thought along with me being an observer. I’ll admit that my mind wandering a lot is a gift and a curse. It’s good to create content, it’s bad when it comes to my personal life.
The way I am working on breaking out of that is trying to be in the moment more. Less social media, less posting, less checking up on other people’s lives, doing things I love (working out, bike riding, basketball, swimming, writing, recording) and having engaging conversations when time permits.
Those who read this may understand how much my mind wanders full of thoughts. It’s part of who I am and I’m trying to get better at it. In the meanwhile, I’ll continue to be a work in progress. Be good everyone and go accomplish your goals!
Jamell Crouthers
Aquarianmind
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